it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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