And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
