you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
