Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
