capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Your cock deserves a montage
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
