READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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