Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
