Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Vodka?
Forever.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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