I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
