Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
