I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
