There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
