my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
