her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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