fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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