Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
