oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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