I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
