And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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