she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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