dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
