he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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