Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's just like the Real World with babies
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
