oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
