sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
where are my eyebrows?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize