My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
