she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish you could order shots online.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
