butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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