there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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