Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
