It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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