need another drink. this is the easiest way
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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