i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
