so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
