I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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