its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
