He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Randomize
