you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
