Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
