i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
