: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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