Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
