i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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