My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
