He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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