just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
