the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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