just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
