If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
someone owes me an orgasm
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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