I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
