Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
