Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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