Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
only if we run a train.
done.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
pray to the hookup gods
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize