You're earring is so big in my mouth
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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